秘密な夢

All right...so I'm feeling a tad bit idiotic.

Danny doesn't seem to exist...

Well...he does...but it's like he's made up of three different people?

I really don't get what's going on...  The other people that know him are also a tad bit confused.  So I'm not sure which of them is the one I'm supposed to be with...

Truthfully I did think something was weird...since his usernames all had a diff name than his real one.  Although this is the internet, where everyone and their brother has an alias.  So I didn't think too much of it.

But it seems like neither of the Hanzo's is in the Navy...?

Anyway, I've got a cellphone number from one of the Hanzo's (who texted me a while ago and was like, "Hai it's Danny!  :]"), so I shall try calling it tomorrow and seeing if anyone picks up.

Or...maybe I should get one of my other friends to call...?  Just to see...

I'll figure something out.  This crap is bugging the hell out of me.

So I woke up this morning to find this message on my MSN from Danny:

"i know this is short notice but i will be leaving for a year i have to finish my work in the navy  and i wont be available  i will try to get on msn but not alot i love u so much please take care"

.__.;;  I didn't even get to say goodbye...  I don't even fully understand what's going on, either.  x.x;;

But...okay...?  I guess...

Relationships
I broke up with the boyfriend I used to write about.  Things just didn't work out between us.  He's tried to contact me a few times since then, though.

I had a few relationships between then and now, and was single for a few months.  But around my birthday in May, a guildie named Daniel confessed that he really liked me...and I told him I didn't want another boyfriend.  But...I felt really bad since it had taken a lot of courage for him to even say something...so I decided that I'd give him a chance.  His chance ended a few days later, since he'd begun moving too fast for me (he started saying he loved me and everything)...  I told him we needed to start over and that we should get to know each other better, since I felt we didn't really know each other at all.

So we let things go, and a few times he expressed sadness that things weren't going the way he thought they would...and that it seemed like he'd never get another chance with me.  We ended up having a fight over something via MSN.  I told him to just stop caring about me and things would be easier, then signed off.  When I signed back on later, there was an offline message from him.  He said that that was the worst thing anyone could say to someone who had once cared so much.

And...after that...I kind of changed my attitude towards him.  I started seeing a different side of him...and decided to give him another chance.

But yeah...Daniel....is in his 20s, younger than me, like the others that happened between me and the former bf.  For a while I was thinking I had developed a pseudo-shota con or something.  xD  All the guys I ended up liking were younger than me.  x.x;;  So I'm semi-worried that maybe I'll turn into a cougar in my old age or something.  xD

Daniel says that he'd spent time in the Navy, and that he's currently an intern at a hospital.  He and I still have a long way to go, though.  Issues we need to work out here and there.  But...hopefully we can work through any problems we have.  ^^

 Fandoms

I've gotten more into Arashi...  Well, Johnny's in particular.  =x  But I'm not restricted to one group.  xD  I love Arashi still, but now there's Kanjani8, NEWS and even SMAP to enjoy.  I'm not as much into NEWS as I am the other groups, though.  Although SMAP's members are pretty much all in their 40s, they're still entertaining!  I loved the performance they had on their show, SMAPxSMAP with Black Eyed Peas.  I already liked "Gotta Feeling," but seeing them perform it together sealed it for me.  xD

Also, I've gotten into Kamen Rider.  More precisely, Kamen Rider Decade.  The original reason was because GACKT did the OP for it.  Kamen Rider turned out to be pretty good!  Not really how I'd imagine it.  The American version of the Sentai shows made me think it'd be kiddie...and yeah, it is to a certain extent, but the storylines and acting are much more serious and slightly less cheesy.

What adds to the cracky fun of Kamen Rider Decade is that a lot of the boys who were in the Prince of Tennis Musicals appeared in this one season.  There are...six!  In this one season.  Inoue Masahiro, Murai Ryouta, Seto Koji, Sakurada Doori, Makita Tetsuya and Kitamura Eiki.  Four of those six are from Seigaku (different generations, though) and the remaining two, Inoue Masahiro and Murai Ryouta, are both from the same Hyoutei generation.

Other Stuff
Last year, in ... October, a little bundle of joy was dropped off at our doorstep.  10 months later, she spends her time chewing on everything that she can and freaking out at her reflection in windows.

We still love her anyway, though!  The top picture was taken in January, the bottom picture was taken on the first day we got her.

On a whim I logged in today and read all my old entries on this Vox.

I should start using it again.  Even though I don't have much to write about besides...work...and...internet drama.  XD

I've discovered the world of MMOs, so that's where I've been mostly.  That, and most of my entries were strictly posted to my LiveJournal.  =x

Oh well...I'll try to update my Vox more frequently since I like being able to upload randomness.  ^^

And maybe I'll try to organize my tags...although doing that on Vox isn't as easy at it is on LiveJournal...

Books: Show us your summer reading list.
Submitted by marvel is my pen name.

1. Takarazuka:  Sexual Politics and Popular Culture in Modern Japan - A book published in 1998.  I found it at the library while shelving some books.  I picked it up because I remembered the Zuka club from Ouran, and the piece that I saw on "Soko Ga Shiritai" that featured a member of a Takarazuka troupe.
2. Hirohito and the Making of Modern Japan - A book that will most likely be assigned for my Japan Politics class next semester.
3. Poetics of Courtly Male Friendship in Japan - I borrowed this book because it reminded me of something that was happening at the time.  I don't remember what that is now.  Haha!
   

Actually...that's all I have so far.  I might find more books later, but we'll have to see.  I'm going to be slightly busy at work until after June 15th, so we shall see how far I can get!

Books: Show us your summer reading list.
Submitted by marvel is my pen name.

1. Takarazuka:  Sexual Politics and Popular Culture in Modern Japan - A book published in 1998.  I found it at the library while shelving some books.  I picked it up because I remembered the Zuka club from Ouran, and the piece that I saw on "Soko Ga Shiritai" that featured a member of a Takarazuka troupe.
2. Hirohito and the Making of Modern Japan - A book that will most likely be assigned for my Japan Politics class next semester.
3. Poetics of Courtly Male Friendship in Japan - I borrowed this book because it reminded me of something that was happening at the time.  I don't remember what that is now.  Haha!
   

Actually...that's all I have so far.  I might find more books later, but we'll have to see.  I'm going to be slightly busy at work until after June 15th, so we shall see how far I can get!

I learned just recently that one of my sort-of co-workers is pregnant.  (I say "sort-of" because we work in the same place, just not in the same department.)  I'm pretty much the last to know, despite the fact that I have class with her and see her on a semi-regular basis.

I found out she was pregnant when her supervisor asked me if I knew her, then asked if I wanted to sign a card that they were giving to her.

"Oh, is she leaving?" I asked.

"Well," replied the supervisor.  "She's expecting, so she's going to be going home for the summer and she won't be coming back."

Cue brain fart!  I didn't even know she was pregnant.  She's the second pregnant girl that I know about.  The other girl who is/was pregnant is currently on leave because she's due next week.

This kind of makes me wish that I was having a baby too...  Although 1) I so can not afford it right now; 2) I'd be afraid of the pain involved in giving birth; 3) my boyfriend is in Texas and if I got pregnant now...he'd be kinda suspicious.

I think I'm feeling like this because it's around that time of the month where I get crazy ideas in my head.

I kind of want to have a baby soon...but for the wrong reasons.  ^^;;  I want to be able to show my baby to my grandma and be like, "You're a great grandma!  Also, I had a baby!"

Haha!  No, I think she'd be happy to get to hold a baby again.  Plus...I don't know.  She's got mild Alzheimer's.  When I took her to the doctor a few weeks ago, I got called into the exam room.  He was administering a test to her where she had to draw the hands and numbers of a clock at 11:15.  She kept erasing and drawing and couldn't remember which were the hour and minute hands.  She also kept repeatedly asking about a piece of paper she had to give to the doctor...which she'd already given.

The doctor ended up giving us a prescription for some medication to help slow down the effects of Alzheimer's.  He said it won't completely cure it...but it will help for now.  She's only in the mild stages, so we're lucky.

I think part of the reason I want to have a baby soon is so that I can introduce them while my grandma still knows who I am.

But I know that's the wrong reason to have a baby and I know that I'm not ready for it right now.  I wish I were, but I'm not.  I hope that by the time I actually do get around to having a baby, it won't be too late.  I think my other grandma was much more fragile...so she didn't make it to my graduation...she also wanted to see me dance in the Merrie Monarch, but she never did because I never did take hula.  I feel kind of bad about that...

I know I can't do anything at this point...but yeah...  I still wish I could do something...

I'm on break from work!  I have about six minutes left.  XD

I talked to a few of my co-workers just to get an idea of how many people would be working this summer, and it really seems like we're going to be severely short-handed.  Two people are graduating, and a good number of our students are from out-of-state, so they'd probably be going back to their respective homes over the summer.  Of the ones that are from this state and staying here over the summer, most of them are going to try and find second jobs or already have second or third jobs already.

All in all, not a very good situation considering that we're going to be moving everything from the second floor up to the third floor.  Which includes my department, plus the several other departments in the back (receiving, cataloging, periodicals, etc.).  Not to mention the fact that we'll have to pack up the entire reference collection, the Hawaiian collection and the entire A-G collection.  I'm not even sure where they're gonna go, because downstairs is pretty much full and the third floor is going to have to house the Hawaiian collection PLUS all of the library staff offices/areas.

Yeah.  Not good.

On another note, I'm loving the computer I'm on.  It's making me wish I had a desktop.  XD

But no, I have to save up.  T_T  I'm going to run out of health insurance coverage under my mom on the 14th (when I turn 24) so ... I shall have to research other forms of health insurance.  I'm already leaning towards one provider that's not listed under the COBRA thing that was sent to me, but keeping the dental plan that's provided for under COBRA.

And yes.  When I saw COBRA, all I could think of was G.I. Joe.  I don't even know what it stands for, but apparently it's some kind of Federal Law thing.

COBRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!